Christmas 2025

 The moment you've all been waiting for, our Xmas letter--written, naturally, by our dogs.

                            Christmas 2025 

 A long, long time ago, in a place not far away,

     God said,

                    “Let there be Dog

       To wash away the sins of the earth,

Created by man (sigh)…my greatest Mistake.”

                            So it was written, so it was done

                                 I.

     ‘Tis the season for bad tidings or good,

Of cozy-warm times or moments bizarre,

To rattle your cage and alter your mood,

Because we adore you just as you are.

     Only Dogs can speak truth and clearly see

What humans fail to comprehend most.

Glory be to the live canine that’s me, 

With Sam in Heaven as our holy host.

     Let’s get down to the grit, you all and us--

     Be awed and amazed by our magnum opus.

                                II.

     The girl, the nurse, with le nom de Lauren,

Comforts and cares for wee small neonates

Born with deformities strange and foreign,

Many so tiny--the size of cupcakes.

     Caring for babes and their needy parents

Takes all her time naught, a thing so precious,

Ran a marathon, such grueling events,

Throughout Portland and its kooky weirdness. 

     She also runs when it’s hot or it rains,

     In through a cemetery she often trains.

Comes home to see us, her love we won’t spurn,

Though what’s left of Sam is ash in an urn.

                                III.

     In Seattle, Nick still lives and appears

Designs special cameras that scan and map.

Software creations, he too engineers,

Has not been replaced by that Aye-Eye crap.

     But uses (we think) AI for his work,

A job so complex, it defies explaining.

It racks our poor brains, makes us go berserk.

(Even for humans, it takes too much thinking)

     To home he oft comes for a nice visit

     Runs ‘round town here, but fast like rabbit! 

But for me, the Benj, he takes for walks long;

Completes the nice stroll with tasty dog bone!

 

                                IV.

     The Nance keeps the house a cozy warm home

And makes stunning culinary delights

For the fam, not the Benj, who truly wants some.

The smell is so yummy and so are the sights!

     I plop myself oft around her warm feet;

To trip over me is not by design.

But if by error she drops a nice treat

Well, good for me, ‘cause what’s hers is mine!

     I smile at her, she smiles at me back

     But all that great food ruins my six-pack.

 

                            V.

     The joys of Dogdom are hard to explain.

We dogs are simple, need not much for bliss.

While man tends to fret and over-complain,

Observe us close and no lessons you’ll miss.

     So do what we do and carefully watch—

     Well, except you mustn’t lick your own crotch.   

 

                            VI.

                  The Doctor is In

          The Surgeon is Out

From Bedlam to Bedside: The Mad Odyssey of Creating Doctors

Look!  Look!

The book!  The book! Dad’s new crazy-fun book!  

On Amazon.com buy it oh please!

It all goes to charity to help fight disease!

It will make you cry, it’ll make you laugh.  

Get it now or die a horrible death

From Zombie-Sam’s bite and unholy breath!

     Otherwise, you’ll have a bona fide blast

     And the best, the most high Merry Xmas!

♥ ♥ Benji & Sammy (a true Angel Canine,

        despite his threat to bite your behind)