Here's our annual tradition, a Xmas card for anyone and everyone, full of joy and happiness and nonsensical canine-babble all for your reading pleasure. Goes well with beer. Enjoy.
A Fong Christmas 2022
I’m going to inhale deeply,
slowly expire…
…and start
here, so hi, how are you, what’s up, and hold that thought since this flight-of-ideas from Dog #2 will be the most spectacular Xmas gift you’ll receive, ‘cause I, Benji, am expressing a superior canine mindset, exceeding the most gifted humanoids, along with brief additions from Dog#1, Sammy, who from the netherworld in squiggly italics and (…) ßthose things, will impart marvelous insight, much as they do in great art works of which this is one, so don’t put this down until you’ve finished since it’s not the same when it’s not fresh, kinda like leftovers (and I saw Mom chiding you for jumping on the dinner table behind her back, silly Dog#2), but let’s ignore Sammy for now and pry into the life of my sister Lauren, a neonatology intensive care nurse working in Portland, the city with lots of tents and no laws and people who steal your catalytic converter right under your nose, from your car parked at Randall Childrens’ Hospital as you’re working ungodly long hours to save babies, especially those twenty-something weekers barely the size of my Milkbones, turning blue, trying to escape life but nurse Lauren does things to revive them (from up here I heard her say, “That naughty preemie tried to die on me, Silly child” which reminds me of her spontaneous humor) and then goes to another wee child, and in her off-hours does weirdo stuff like stroll through a large cemetery nearby, though she won’t carry a large knife like a machete Dad offered to give her ‘cause you never know who’ll be hiding behind a tombstone (which reminds me that Dad dressed up as Wyatt Earp for Halloween as I saw from up here) but she also finds time to meet up with her brother, Nick, who lives north in Seattle, another city gone to the dogs but in a not-so-great dog-friendly way, and they meet up in Portland or Seattle and do fun stuff like eat different ethnic food which is unfair since I’m stuck with the same kibbles and Milkbones (I ate the same crap, kid, so stop the complaining, BTW I see you’re a bit of a fatso) and hey, I’m self-conscious about my weight but I can still squeeze through the doggy-door, but let’s move on to Nick who still works at Radiant and uses his degrees in physics and applied math as a software engineer and if you ask me what he does I need to refer you to Sammy since it’s above my pay-grade (it’s still beyond me since dogs were never meant to understand Code, which is not natural, even up here) and he too works a lot of hours but needs to travel to Japan in January 2023 to meet those clients face to face but I hope he eats great food such as sushi and other stuff I’m not allowed to have (I so loved salmon. And steak, and chicken and anything dropped onto the floor, even raw stumps of broccoli) and hey yeah I like those too…wait, lost my train of thought, oh yeah, let’s get back to Nick who also went to S. Carolina not so long ago, which worried Mom since it was near a hurricane, silly boy, but he even travelled to the ocean to see Ft. Sumter, closer to the ‘caine, but heck he returned in one piece so Mom’s relieved but with longer wind-blown hair (yeah, what’s with the do?) and told him to cut it or comb it but Mom continues to cook fantastic food that is different but still focuses a lot on chicken, but a lot of things taste like chicken anyway (like squirrel, or so I ‘ve been told. Those rascals are hard to catch, they tease you then run up a tree. Chickens!) and I like chicken so I guess I’ll like squirrel, but there’s different kinds of colorful stuff she cooks with the chicken that, I’ve been fooled to believe, are not good for dogs (they used that same false ruse on me!) so I got to come up with better tactics like hang around her feet so she’ll drop some food or jump on the table behind her back, which is a squirrel technique I learned, and you know I have fun messing with her hair and taking her “scrunchies” when she exercises on the floor (yeah, that’s better than chasing squirrels) and I try to chase her on this thingamjig called a treadmill but it looks scary so I sit and watch, but I’ll drop a poop in the house every once in awhile to keep those folks on their feet ‘cause you don’t want boredom (try hiding under the table when they want to take you for a walk) and yeah that sounds clever, will use that especially on Dad who’s not that bright, running without shoes even in the snow, but he still can’t catch up with me, and he still draws and writes on this thing called a blog to educate people and stuff, still teaches residents and med students, still on the board for the hospital but there’s no squirrels there, so what’s the point (humans are a silly species) and BTW noticed we’re not using ‘points’ or dots (they’re called ‘periods’) oh yeah, until…now.•ßthere it is.
Thanks a bunch for reading our run-on stream of consciousness. You can send checks or cash to our mailing address.
Merry Xmas & Happy New Year!
Benji
with the help of the Spirt of Sammy Fong
for Randy, Nancy, Nicholas & Lauren
©Randall
S. Fong, M.D.
For more topics on
medicine, health and the weirdness of life in general, check out the rest of
the blog site at randallfong.blogspot.com
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