Christmas 2023

 Our Annual Xmas greetings written from the perspective, naturally, of our dog(s)

Christmas 2023

   In the beginning,

God made Dog

In His image, same letters and same smell,

Spelled backwards, as you sub-canines may tell.
The Book carries not this truth by mistake,
Instead speaks nonsense of a stupid snake
And two dumb humans naked and afraid.
From Dog, the order of the world was laid.
No thanks?  No reward?  No praise on Tik-Tok?

A bone, a treat? One share of Apple stock?

 

We declare, you fools, to set it all straight.

Do this we shall but at a later date.

Loftier goals we have at this moment:

The Story Fong, for you whom we’ll torment.

 

A cheery and good note, we will begin,
Save the boring (Dad), for the bloody end.
Lauren, our NICU nurse, saves wee preemies
From death’s door and fends off their enemies 
From scourging their tiny and weak bodies,
Like trauma, disease and birth malformities.
But keeps she does her same humor and wit
Through rough times in the intensive care unit.
Portland, Oregon she still lives and works;
Explores the city, despite its strange quirks.
Still finds beauty in the dreary and bleak,

Like strolling a graveyard during the week.

 

A software engineer is Nick-the-brain,
Complex mathematics seem a big strain,
With optics and physics and binary code;
It’s just a part of his normal work-load.
Runs miles on foot with a rod in the leg,
A skiing break brought upon him that plague.
Adventures about he does on short plan,
In spring he flew to the isle of Japan.
Ventures strange places to the north up there--

Canada speaks English-eh? though not like here.

 

Mom expands her repertoire in cooking,
While nosey, hungry Dad stands by drooling,
Just like us--Benji and the undead Sam--
Who’ll dive onto food whenever we can.
There’s ten thousand ways for chicken to make,
Simmered, roasted, cooked in pies, how ‘bout cake?
Who needs fish and clams, or pig and a cow?
When you have chicken--the best of all fowl!
Oink-oink, gobble-gobble, bah-bah, moo-moo;

Oh not those but cluck-cluck for me and you!

 

Dad’s as a doctor still does what he loves.

   Still runs with no shoes, but can afford gloves.   

           Yawn…let’s move on.

 

Without us the foursome sojourned abroad,
Left me-Benji in a weird-like abode.
I was forced to meet with other canines--
Whoa was for me in those hard and dark times.
A bug I could’ve caught like R.S.V.,
Rabies, COVID, or a horrible flea!
Bad vectors are fleas for bubonic plague--
Stuff you should know for a pandemic age.
For their thirtieth anniversary,
The folks and kids travelled quite merrily.
Off to Oahu without the poor Benj, 
While I-Sam saw my li’l bro plot revenge.
Fun in the ocean, the sun and seashore,

Around the whole island they all did explore.

 

But that’s neither here nor anyplace there,

The Fong clan came back and that’s all we care.

But be warned, be wary for Dogs in the night,

Reset as it was, the world we just might.

Of this great earth we shall seize and control

From media-dumbed humans who won’t even know.

     Just a passing thought. 

         Worry for you, let it not.

 

Recall, God’s greatness is revealed in Dog,
From which humankind was humbly derived.
Hope you’re pleased by this crafty duologue—

We don’t want to keep you sad and deprived!

 

No praise please--send a Fistful of Dollars

(Citing Clint Eastwood’s flick we could not help).

Wrap cash, fasten gold to our loose collars,

We’ll howl, we’ll cry, ten barks and a yelp!

All of this glee brings us to the true reason

To remember God’s son this joyous season.

     Okay, now we will stop.

Merry Xmas & all that jazz, you silly humans.